A Day in a Read State (6)

Through Good 360 and the Center’s cornerstone Nebraska Truckloads of Help program, Lincoln’s Center For People In Need receives thousands of book donations from participating non-profits and national companies alike, helping put free books in the homes and schools of low-income and high-need families throughout Nebraska.

These are the stories of some of those stories.

Today we learn how to clean practically anything.

In 2006, the Editors of Consumer Reports brought us the sixth edition of their useful supplement, a pocket-sized manual, on how to clean everything from ormolu (handle only with cotton gloves; do not wash, rub, or polish ormolu; page 68) to dried flowers (if the flowers are still dusty, place them in a bag with salt and cornmeal; page 51) and cell phones (when not in use, cell phones should be kept in belt holders, car mounts, or padded cases to prevent unwanted knocks and scrapes; page 42.)

Does it smell like dust yet?

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Consumer Reports How to Clean Practically Anything (Consumer Reports Special Publications, 2006.)

Futons, chiefly because Jay-Z namedrops futons in sterling masculine rhyme in “Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)”:

…I see you vision mama, I put my money on the longshots
All my ballers that’s born to clock
Now I’ma be on top whether I perform or not
I went from lukewarm to hot; sleepin on futons and cots…

Consumer Reports with the advice now:

“Fabrics on futon casings vary – follow the manufacturer’s care instructions. Most futons used in North America are as thick and substantial as a mattress and require similar care. Turn a futon at least twice a year – alternately side over side and end over end. When you turn the futon, air it outside or near a window where sunlight comes in.

Use a mattress pad between the futon and the bottom sheet to absorb moisture. Launder the pad occasionally. Dust the futon when you change the pad, using the upholstery attachment of the vacuum cleaner or a stiff brush.

To remove a musty smell, sprinkle baking soda over the futon. Leave it undisturbed for 24 hours, then vacuum it away. Or use a commercial pet-stain and odor-removal product. For most stains, use a minimal amount of liquid upholstery cleaner. If possible, turn the futon on its side so it will not soak up too much liquid. Speed drying time by using a hair dryer. For urine stains, use a pet-odor-removal product. 

If you have a futon that is lightweight and not very deep, loosely roll it up as often as possible – daily is best – so that air can circulate through it and moisture can dry out.”

Editors of Consumer Reports, “How to Clean Practically Anything,” (p. 60)

Dead Prez (2000) opts to deploy his futon for a more feminine rhyme in “Mind Sex”:

…Now I know you think I wanna f***, no doubt
but tonight we’ll try a different route, how bout we start
With a salad, a fresh bed of lettuce with croutons
Later we can play a game of chess on the futon…

Let’s hope everybody turns, airs, and rolls their futons with recommended frequency.

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