Baseball: It Was a Game of Uncles (3)

“I’ve a drowning grip on your adoring face”

Belle & Sebastian, “Piazza, New York Catcher” (2003)

From my private stash of baseball cards: Topps, Donruss, Fleer, Bowman ’85 – ’93, mostly.

Dedicated to the institution of uncledom, wherever it may dwell.

photo 3 (11)Coach Taylor?

photo 4 (9)“Brady, you hit one pop fly with all those bats, your batting average will be scarred with a permanent negative superscript for the remainder of your career, never you mind having your name attached to the sabermetrics formula for Bat-outs per Revolution And Discrete Y-axis movements.”

photo 5 (7)“Welp! You got me again, guys. Hope yer happy!”

photo 2 (10)Uncle Neck the Third: is that a grounder or a goiter?

photo 5 (6)It would upset me to no end if I were this uncle and I had my image immortalized with such an uneven trim job on the swashbuckler mustache.

Disappointment and Egon Schiele‘s “Self Portrait” are cuts from the same sleeveless shirt.

photo 2 (12)Uncle Bullchild Nosebreather.

Nevermind the face on this Uncle – priceless though it may be, the mullet in mid-pitch is a declarative statement of action – watch it swing about with verve akin to the great work of Italian Futurist painter Giacomo Balla‘s “Dynamism of a Dog on a Leash.”

photo 1 (10)“The Face that Launched a Thousand Sliders.”

photo 3 (10)

This Uncle unwittingly receives The Joke That Keeps On Telling while his teammates endure a 16-2 rout at the hands of Sam Horn’s Baltimore Orioles.

(Featured image courtesy of gamefaqs.net)

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